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Is It Ever Okay to Spend the Entire Baseball Game in Line for Nachos?

by News Times USA

Welcome to “Is It Ever Okay,” Bon Appétit’s questionable etiquette column. Have a question? Email staff.bonappetit@gmail.com

Do sporting events have veggie dogs yet? I’d probably go to more of them if they did. —Veggie Vara
There are Beyond sausages, Impossible burgers, Chik’n nachos, and other meatless options (including a curious amount of vegan chili) at most stadiums now, but you have to research where to find them before you go because they aren’t at every concession stand the way “regular meat” is. This is small progress, but we’ll take it.

I don’t enjoy sports. Can I use food runs as a time killer? —Not-Into-It Nico
Depends on where you’re sitting. Aisle? Go blow your entire paycheck at Hungry Howie’s. But if your beautiful butt is going to be in my face more than five times this game, you risk the silent steaming fury of a stranger who’ll never, ever confront you. Just…think of others!

Illustration by Zak Tebbal 

Why don’t all American stadiums serve poutine at sporting events when it’s the best stadium food? —Canadian Corey
For the same reason we’ll never get universal health care. We know it’s good for us, but we’re so far gone now it’d be embarrassing to start over. However, I’ll never give up hope!

Illustration by Zak Tebbal

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